Friday, August 31, 2007

^_^

And I thought I was bad... some of the guys on hardwarezone were studying weather patterns around the comex site because it was raining.

Finally got my dream phone which i've been eyeing for months before it was released in singapore.

Along with the razer tarantula keyboard. This baby is tough that you can't just press the keys normally. You gotta press them real hard like a real man. A real nerdy man. Actually i think something's wrong with the keyboard. Doh.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

COMEX 2007

Things to do before going to comex...

1. Study Floor plans of stalls

2. Mark out desired stalls to visit

3. Set way points between stalls to visit

4. Note alternate way points in case of heavy congestion

Level up equipment

Its amazing what a little funding can do.

One of the few reasons for me to leave my room is now obsolete.... cause my room cum studio cum entertainment hub is now a room cum studio cum entertainment hub cum gym.

I almost died trying to lug this shit back home... but I didn't want to wait 2 days for it to be delivered.

And the godamn taxi driver refused to get out of the cab to help me even close the boot. I should have just left it open.

I wanted to get the punching ball but I know I'll end up breaking something in the room...

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

To Far Away Times again

Got quite an interesting request in the mail today.

Hi,

I've been a big fan of your work in the remixing community for quite a
while, culminating in your involvement with the Chrono Symphonic
project. At the time I first listened to it, I thought that your
arrangement of To Far Away Times was absolutely stunningly beautiful.
Now I'm being married in a few days and my fiancee and I thought that
your piano arrangement would make a beautiful recessional.

Do you happen to have the piano version (minus pixietricks' vocals)
available? I've been able to find the pixietricks version freely
available, but the piano only is what we'd like for the wedding.

Thanks very much for your time,

Er-- Gr---

>_<

Its been quite a disastrous week.

First on sat the news that snoc hates us.

Then on monday the fighter's guild has a huge change in policy removing a bunch of rules, creating chaos for the entire guild.

But the funny thing is...

It takes disaster to shake people and make them react. And because of that I've found people who share the same views as me. People who have been through the same shit and who haven't gone to hell... or at least come back from it.




Sometimes it sucks, but I always believe that what goes around comes around. Gotta be the change that you want to see in people, even if it sucks. I think I'll just sleep.

Was looking at shades the other day... Adidas' red white one looks aight, but is a complete disaster with the strap. Rudy's new line totally rocks. Lens that can bend until each end of the lens touches with each other.... too bad the one I want needs two months to be flown in from the states.

I need another Rudy project store.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

*ppssssssssffft

What a crazy week.

Almost died when Ruby brought the deadlines forward... man.... But finally.... today, everything is cleared at last.

At least the first wave is over.

Two more weeks of slightly less business, then gg. Please let me enjoy my 2-3 months of holiday in peace. Though it seems all this working spree will be for nothing as the holiday won't be required after all. Godamnit.

Whatever. 5 crew race. Go and get gold back. Godamnit. GOLD GODAMNIT.


This quarter's zouk card is a nice light blue. Their designs rock. Met Zic last night too. He's still the same old mommy and Fiona's boy. haha. I remember someone telling me that fashion shows usually have better music than the usual disco mixes. Think there's a certain amount of truth to that. The heavy beat on one of the tracks was incredible. It wasn't sequenced, couldn't be. It must have been recorded live because there was absolutely no pattern to it. And another piece had this jazz synth playing. Awesome.

Despite the crazy week just being able to come back and dota with the guys provides some amount of relief.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

COMPOSING SPREE

I've hereby composed close to 60 minutes for the year end musical. 60 minutes of original material. My god, its the most I've done up for any project in my life. I could very well just take a break for the rest of the year after this month, but there are still so many more projects to finish. Doh!

Its kinda like milestone training. I feel like I can compose for any movie or musical now. Hahaha.



Had a nice long run just now, clear everything out. Its interesting to have a running partner thats so used to running with you that when you encounter obstacles like slow people fumbling around clumsily the both of you automatically assume formation and can get past them.


Familiar places, familiar foods. Its nice to just come back to it all every now and then.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

XD

omfg I'm overworked.

Deadlines creeping, rehearsals coming up and so many projects starting/ending which is the most crucial time.

I'm seriously running out of inspiration...

But its possible. I can do this.

There are people working harder out there for what they believe in. Just because I'm doing what I love doesn't mean its going to be easy all the time.

I just barely met tomorrow's deadlines, but next week will be the hardest.

Despite all the hardwork... Just listening to this latest scene's track still gives me goosebumps.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Every changing yet stationary

Met up with Roger to discuss the end of the year project... and hopefully the last show that I'll be tempted to work on for this year. I didn't think anyone would find the study of art history remotely interesting - one of the required modules to take in NUS' art degree syllabus.

There's something noble about trying to preserve the art of a certain era. Perhaps through appreciation of old feelings can one re-live days long ago which makes us who we are.

Thankfully I can not appreciate such nostalgia, which means I'm still quite young. However I can see the significance of reaffirming one's identify through his past.

The first show of its kind in Singapore. Would be quite exciting if I haven't already been working on so many "first of its kind in Singapore" kinda stuff recently.



Just finished part of another scene. Evil badass dancing queen with bhangra beats. The lady's request in style which worked out pretty well.

Two Sides

Life always has a way of showing you both sides in order to let you choose which side you want.

Those who can not handle responsibility will have it taken from them. Yet those who take what little responsibility given to them who cherish and make the best of it will make it grow. In a way I am relieved. It seems that he simply can not handle things. Talking with him made me realize that I could have easily provided him with all the solutions necessary and ended his infinite cycle of self assurance, but in the end it would be merely prolonging the inevitable.

It seems that some things just cannot be passed down or taught. I once blamed myself for not teaching or equipping the next batch with the necessary skills to continue the running of the team or club. But now my conscience is clear. The primary variable which the equation depends so heavily on is ultimately the one who will take your place.

Ironically this is the best opportunity for the team to accomplish something very important. So many of them have grown so much, I feel so happy for them.




I remember the first time. I wanted to because I wanted to right all the wrongs that were going on through past - others and mine. I wanted to give everyone the chance that they deserved, the chance that I never got.

But it is through hardship that allows you to perceive things strongly. And by providing an ideal environment, you deprive them of that critical chance to perceive things as you yourself do.





Someone once asked me:
"why is it that all of them gradually come to the dark side except you?"

I jokingly replied:
"Because the lesser poison can never affect the greater poison."

But in actuality, you can't poison something that has already died.

Friday, August 17, 2007

I just randomly stumbled across something so ridiculously cool I'm seriously thinking of getting one.

Green Lasers
So what are these lasers we're selling like hot cakes? In case you were wondering - Wicked Lasers' doesn't specialize in regular low power (5mW) presentation or key chain laser pointers. We sell some of the most powerful handheld laser products in the world. Our green lasers are so bright and powerful they can burn, slash and melt plastic or, if you are so inclined, light your cigarette. The green lasers create a beam you can see for miles in dark conditions. Think we're exaggerating? When people buy our lasers they are so proud of what their new gadgets can do, they can't help posting a video of their laser in action. Have a look at some of our videos in our member forum or go to green lasers to find out more.

Lowered power laser has healing properties, higher powered beams burn, how cool is that? The lasers can pop balloons, etch into leather, light cigarettes, and even set of fireworks XD.

Its like a low end light saber... with 100 mile range.

Hazards of gaming

For the past few months the reason 8-12 people comprising of ord'd recce guys and hot gaming chicks have been sleeping very late is because of one thing - DOTA.

It seems tonight the gang is unusually tired due to school and what not and we'll all be able to sleep early. Woot.

If there wasn't so much to learn about teamwork, I would have gotten bored of the game long ago.

Ironically.... just the other day we had a guys versus girls game. And despite our superior individual skills, the guys team lost. Because the girls had far better teamwork (And stupid jiaming kept feeding the girls team). But anyway it really is similar to dragonboat or working in any project group or team. You can be the best individually, but if that best doesn't contribute to your team mates, then you lose out. If you can't compromise a little to help your team out, you lose. If you keep bitching at your team mates and only irritate them, you lose.

Its hard to find that balance to shine individually yet contribute. Every game we play with different characters, all the variables in the equation change, and different people will be able to stand out. Maybe thats why I like the game so much. To try and find the solution to a problem that changes every time we play.

I shoryuken people who say that DOTA sucks just because they can't grasp the game.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Pains

Overworking a piece can be such a pain sometimes.

I have to listen through the rendered piece over and over again to make sure that no one instrument glitches.

So many things could happen.

Instruments could disappear due to running out of memory.

Legato instruments could slur from the wrong note if parked at the wrong place in the song before recording.

Clicks or pops could randomly appear for no apparent reason.

It has to be perfect for the final rendition. From the Piano, oboe, violins, cellos, basses, oboes, flutes, clarinets, piccolos to the french horns, trumpets, tubas, harp, bass drums, snares, tom toms, timpani... the list goes on.

Each instrument's line have I meticulously written out for the orchestra and if even one disappears during this virtual performance my heart can literally skip a beat.



Ahh but that perfect recording. That one perfect recording when everything agrees to play flawlessly and it all comes together as it did in my head before I painstakingly brought them to live one by one... makes you feel that there is peace harmony and joy in the world. The earth rotates as it should and I don't have to go kick someone in the nuts.



Nowadays I have people waiting to begin work with me. For freelancers or any boss or contractor, it is a dream come true. To not worry about where the next project will come from.

But with it comes the price of potentially over stressing yourself... I don't know how long I can maintain this rate of work at, and people who don't snap often snap in a big way when they eventually do.... so....

I have been craving to get back into the sparring scene. But I know that's the worse possible thing I can get myself back into right now.


The career is really picking up now. Which makes me wonder what is most critical and important for the advancement of this ambition. I have forsaken my place in uni to pursue this grand dream yet again, but now I wonder if I have to do the same thing for Dragon Boat?

Sacrifice a smaller dream for the bigger one?

Bleh... I used to tell someone that you can accomplish more than usual with good time management, optimization of work flow and proper allocation of active and inactive work.

But you can only stretch so far before it snaps.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Tired numb

I don't feel like moving much today. Back and chest ache too much from yesterday's training, and this afternoon's run has the legs tired too.

Too much bad karma going on over the past few weekends.

Ugh I'm just going to not think and just row. Its too depressing if you win, too depressing if you lose. Lets just forget about the sea games. Not like we haven't represented the country before in overseas competition and its not like its the biggest race out there either.


Note to self, the cup miso soup from 7-11 purchased during last week's midnight run with sam is awesome. Imported from Chuo Ku, Tokyo. Too bad its so friggin expensive.

Monday, August 13, 2007

March of the Doors

You're listening to March of the Doors.

Sneak peak into one of the tracks I've been working on for the "Alice" musical.

This scene tells of how the main character encounters huge obstacles in the form of strong large doors. To me, each door represents a possible dream or ambition. In the end the protagonist finds the necessary keys or items required to enter the door of her choice despite the numerous set backs she endures.

=_=

3:15am...

Just finished scene 7's arrangement proposal for tomorrow's presentation to NTUC. It should go ridiculously well whether I've finished this far into the conceptual arrangements or not anyway doh.

Sending Anthony some of the newer songs on msn. Its nice to be featured at a music festival, but it kinda sucks that its all the way in france.

Come to think of it, I think that more people know about me in the States or France.... even Japan than the people back here at home, according to google.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Rain rain

I love the coolness of the rain. I love staying at home in the rain, canoeing in the rain, dragonboating in the rain. I've rowed to the Merlion and back to sdba in the rain.

But I hate running in the rain. The roads get slippery, and turning around corners can get messy.

Today when I finally finished the arrangement concept for scene 4 of the act3 musical and wanted to go for a run... it rained.

So I thought I can always run later.

Then just now when I went down to run, once I stepped foot on the road, it started drizzling.

....

Did a short run in the end, running home when the rain got too heavy. Legs still hurt from friday's training, so I was looking forward to a nice long run to warm everything up nicely.




The latest installation of the Ghost Recon series, Advanced Warfighter is quite a sight to behold. Nowadays game companies are working so hard on their light mapping, polygons, mocap, textures, etc etc, making games look closer and closer to reality.

I was following one of my men around with the cross-cam to issue orders, we were running from one point of cover to the next, stray bullets flying around, hitting the dry ground, sand and dust clouds kicked up everywhere, the sound of ricocheted bullets next to us. One of the guys suddenly yelled "Take cover" and everyone started to dart in separate directions in unison. A missile screamed through the air, slamming into one of the guys, the explosion was so close that the ground shook and I was temporarily blinded.

The dust settled, and the one hit by the missile was lying on the ground, asking for help. Oh, he just had red health. Wtf?

These guys can take a direct hit from a missile and still live. I wanna be a ghost recon trooper too.

Friday, August 10, 2007

PLAY WITH YOUR BODY

Woot, tv mobile has got some nice programs nowadays. Alot about the arts scene. And the pranks are damn funny la, sometimes you just burst out laughing or you hear someone giggling behind.

But one thing I can not stand is Switchin Kitchens... the soundtrack... namely the intro song or any song that plays during the show just grinds me and makes me feel like shoryukening someone.

Today's shoot was quite fun. Its just nice being directed by an experienced photographer and not have to think so much. Left before Zic's slot though, I wonder how he's doing.





Quote of the day: "Comon guys, play with your body." - Coach

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Happy Birthday Singapore

National day training today. So fun..... woohoo..... Actually it was ok la. I'm starting to think that if it does work out for us, quite a few of us may actually die.

Sad to see so little understanding in the team. As senior members shouldn't they guide and mentor instead of point out? Then again its better that they are straight-forward I guess... tho with the wrong people.

What is a team? I guess they seem to think that its only a bunch of individuals getting together to do something and it ends there.

The reason why I made it a point to focus on one and only one team when it mattered, is because of this. Yet this is something that I had forgotten during army days.

I guess I was a lot wiser and sharper back in school.

Understanding, patience, compromise for the sake of your team mates, sacrifice for your team mates, not for yourself; these are all things required for each member to give. But they will not come in the first place if you don't want to love your team, or you have another team that you are attached to.

This sport is about supporting each other, not out running each other, out lifting each other or even out rowing each other. Not about trying to look point out your team mate's flaws or making them look worse. Sacrifice for yourself is selfish and self-serving. Sacrifice for others is actually worth a shit.

This is why I had to think so long about rejoining this team. People think that there's prestige or pride involved. I see none yet. You don't even get it standing on the podium or on stage. Its about realizing that you have sacrificed so much for the people in that team, and they have done the same for you. I see only sacrifice, both in time, money and injuries.

The ironic thing is that as sportsmen, theoretically they will never grasp this concept. Because the sportsman thrives on a certain amount of mental immaturity, inferiority complex to motivate him, to bite on his ego to keep him going. Someone thinking of all these things, of himself, will never think of others.

Why I continue in this sport, I don't know. There are too few people who share my view.

Why did I bother being so insistent on rowing on my weaker side, aggravating my injury? Because if we do make it, we'll need the best rowers, and if I row right, that means that one of the best will not be rowing. Yes, the left side have more in number, but they are also less experienced.

Why bother putting myself in a more dangerous situation? Quite apparently my wrist got worse and worse for the time trial because rowing a boat alone aggravates the strain. If I had just continued to row on the right side and keep it at its peak I would have avoided worsening it and had a higher chance of qualifying. Maybe none of them will be able understand. All they can accomplish is think of stories that will make me either look like a show-off or look like I'm trying to take someone's place.

I tire of such people. As much as I want them to mature mentally, emotionally, it is ultimately up to them.

Don't they see that they think that the people who have done wrong are damaging the team, when they themselves are damaging it the most?

Is it really worth it?




Watched the parade on tv and live from a suite on the top floor of Raffles The Plaza. First time I saw the fireworks at eye level, not needing to look up. All the alcohol you can drink, though I didn't drink any of it.



It was so sad, listening to the music one last time, remembering all the times we rowed past and they were rehearsing, the lighting, the music, the sounds. Tonight it was the biggest night, as if it wanted to bloom one last time before dying.



The wheels are already in motion, just a few more years till that music playing will be mine.

Busy for what?

Oh nos... I haven't played my poor PS3 since forever. Been busy referencing, incubating and working.

Part of a composer's job is to slack. Believe it or not, because after the period of referencing source styles, arrangements and melodies, comes the period of incubation, where the sub-conscious does the work in magically surfacing the music.

You can't just try and sit at the piano and declare that you are going to compose something. Because nothing will come.

There used to be this awesome game for the playstation called breath of fire. In it there was this mini game called the fairy village. Every now and then you'd drop by the fairy village and tell them what to do and give them stuff to work with. Then you would have to go out into the game world and advance the storyline, fight off monsters, etc to pass time in fairy land.

So yeah, its sort of like leaving the fairies to do their work in your head.

OKAY STUPID ILLUSTRATION.

Anyway, sometimes an awesome melody comes to me when I least expect it, like... walking on the street or in the mrt. Then out of fear of losing it, which is very possible, I have to whip out my handphone and record it down.

This often involves singing or humming to it... which then makes me look like I'm singing to my girlfriend over the phone or something. Ahhh but people don't stare too much.

At least not when I stare back at them.

^_^


Met Paerin today to discuss yet another musical for Fly Ent. Its going to get busy, but at least I'll be on track to be able to take a couple months off work at the end of the year.

But I may not need to after all.

Actually, I can't imagine not composing. Its not that I need something to occupy my time or I'll turn into some slack waste. There are too many other things that I want to do. Its just that I love it too much.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Sigh. Sometimes planning moves for Samus can be such a headache.

Like how to freeze an enemy in a block of ice. Different characters have different heights, so obviously one generic block of ice will fail miserably in providing accurate graphical satisfaction for the freezing.

Couple of solutions:

1: Use head positioning constant
(Generic ice block height to be at 100 pixels, divide that by 100 times the height of the enemy) plus 8 pixels for allowance of hair, etc.

2: Land invisible helper on enemy spawned from sky. Spawned X pos to be set to target, drop down record the Y pos at contact. Discrepancy here will be movement per gametick due to velocity of the helper. Estimated 5-10 pixels error.

3: Spawn helper from bottom and record Y pos at loss of contact with target. Same error as solution 2.

Bloody headache. I was looking at how Warcraft 3 calculates the spawning of the electricity graphics between targets, and this is what I roughly got:

Basic lightning sprite base is 100 units. For every 100 units distance to target, spawn one sprite.

If distance is 830 units, divide by 100, use constant as number of spawned sprite, decimel to be last spawned sprite scaled according to /100*decimal value*100 = scaled to decimal value.


Actually, I think that if I don't do game programming, I wouldn't be able to do music very well, because both sides of the brain must have constant exercise function at peak. One thing our current education system is severely lacking. But it doesn't really matter when all you want is to train people who follow the paths given to them and feel lost if someone else doesn't give them direction. So in that aspect, it works!

And why the hell am I wandering off into that topic, no no none of my concern.


Game programming is fun especially for particles when you can use expressions comprising of sine cosine or pi, E, etc to make wave and curve velocities happen real time. Yes, I was one of those weird people who liked F maths and Physics.

Though I had to give them up to chase that grand dream... oh well, they live on in me!

Monday, August 6, 2007

Damn you sun!

Okay, the nice period where it would always be cloudy and almost rainy at noon time is over. Nowadays the godamn sun is back in full force.

This means that I have to crawl back into the shade out of breath in between sets during afternoon training.

Many many years ago I love the sun. I would love the heat and warmth and brightness and the tan on my skin.

I must have been one screwed up kid!

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Finding center

Today was time trial for the time trial for the sea games. Wtf right?

Individually we need to qualify today to go for the time trial as a group for the sports council to see if we're good enough to be sent to the sea games.

I was unusually nervous today because my wrist has been getting from bad to worse while I row on the left side... and that's all I've been practicing, save for one session on the right. Being able to row on both sides has its pluses, but if you don't practice on one side, it really isn't going to be all that great.

So yeah, I planned to aim for a spot on the left side while rowing on my right. Which turned out to fail terribly as the lack of practice on that side obviously nerfed my speed.

So it was do or die.... best compromise I came up with was to row on the left side for the last set at 90% instead of 100%, while not using the reverse buggy whip and drive B... my more powerful strokes for heavy boat situations. To compensate I had to do something funny to my kicking.... so now my left leg is hurting quite a bit. Ended prematurely while coach yelled out the timing. Like that's as good as calling to stop, right? Turns out he just yelled it for fun or something and I ended up gliding in while I had to eject the paddle out of my top arm out of tightness.

But in the end, I guess I'm lucky that despite the handicap and screw up, I had a good enough timing to make the cut.

I wish I could say the same for the rest of the SAFSA guys. I felt proud for some of them, yet shared their disappointment. As in felt their disappointment, not felt disappointed in them. I remember the last time the trial was held for the last sea games, I couldn't train much because it was the period when I was going through BMT and subsequently was going for course, so no attaching out, and senseless combat training.... with ridiculously little amounts of physical training. So I know how they feel, and I know that I can't really say much to make them feel better.

But I also am proud that they feel the anger and disappointment, because as a sportsman, if you don't have them, you're as good as useless.

Also interesting to be able to confirm a theory today. That each natural stroke is the most effective for an individual. Looking at the bent arms of Allen, or the short reach of Chun Hao, executing the stroke that was because their body tells them so strongly that that is what it is comfortable with and that is what will get them to move the fastest.

As a leader and trainer previously I always knew that as each person's body is different, each person's strengths and weaknesses are different, so too must each person's ideal stroke be. This is their greatest strength as an individual, but their greatest weakness in a team, because variations in stroke would mean small changes in timings in different parts of the stroke, which would affect their team mates in a negative manner, preventing them from giving their best, because of clashes in space, paddles or just plain frustration.

Its that balance of both unique technique and compromise for the team that is required in a team sport.

Sometimes I wonder what my natural stroke would be like. I take pride in being able to assimilate any stroke from any team, seeing the strengths, the weaknesses, and executing them with ease. But such comfortability to conform to any stroke comes at the price of not being able to recognize what would be best for myself by feeling.

So all I can do is calculate and estimate in a technical manner. Which can be quite tedious at most times.

Friday, August 3, 2007

Visited Ngee Ann Polytechnic's Alumni clubhouse yesterday for the shoot. Nice place, got a nice pool, facilities and I finally saw the brand spanking new gym some of the alumni were talking about. Like why the hell doesn't NYP have something like that?

Moving a good melody around is like finding an old friend. An oboe plays the melody line at first, which is then carried on with a clarinet, finally a french horn replays the melody again, while the oboe and clarinet move in parallel with it at times, moving away, then coming closer again. Sometimes the romance in orchestration is something that you can't really describe fully in words somehow. To put in words would be to rationalize, but to feel the emotions would be the total opposite.

One of the clients cried when she heard the song during the presentation earlier today. Sometimes I wish that I could feel my own music as much as some other people do.

Always chasing what we can't have.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Sometimes bringing ideas into reality can get so crazy sometimes when I have too many ideas coming from all over the place. Like for Samus' charged shot when she gathers energy at her blaster in preparation for a huge blast, I made the blaster suck in matter first to concentrate the density of space time before igniting into a mass of swirling particles and light. It sounds science fictiony but thats fine because visually the effect of things getting sucked in, blown up then swirling around looks orgasmic to nerds!

Then comes the problem of adding lighting to her armor when this happens... adding lighting to the floor... linking the helper states to her root animation state so that the right light sequence plays.... then for the blast the lighting intensity has to be tripled temporarily.... I haven't even touched sound effects yet!

Argh I can drive myself mad sometimes.

Old gatherings

Nowadays when I listen to old recordings of myself when I was playing impromptu, I feel as if its someone else playing.

Oh yeah, caught the Simpsons movie with the recce bros after eating at Village at Heeren... the wok special that day was exceptionally awesome la... but its really not worth it to eat there. Anyway the movie was damn funny. Makes me wanna watch the simpsons on tv again.... but I don't watch tv...

Got trashed in pool by Wilson too... to think I spent everyday of the brief period I was at the Armored Gunnery Tactical Simulator's wreck room practicing... all in vain! But I bet he practiced more... Wilson is a pool nerd. YOU GODAMN POOL NERD!
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