There used to a popular song by the Bee Gees, 'How Can You Mend a Broken Heart' The song aptly sums up the pain of losing someone you love dearly. Someone asked Reu's mother just recently "So how? Is everything back to normal?"
I guess the person meant well and showed his concern in asking about her well-being. However, perhaps some thought could be given before choosing the question to ask. A broken heart is not easily healed. Do not imagine that with the passing of time, that things will be "BACK TO NORMAL". The pain may become less intense, but the void will always be there. Especially when someone is taken away suddenly, before his three score and ten years are up. So don't expect things to go back to "normal".
It is the norm that a son should bury his father. But why should a father bury his son? My heart still aches even today (even after 15 months) and I cannot imagine the pain Reu's mother feels.
I try to adopt some sort of daily routine. Yet everything is different. So, dear friends, Please DON'T ask if everything is back to normal ?!!
Things can never be back to normal. My son is no longer around, so try some other conversation/question. "Hi, its nice to see you today", "So what do you think of President Obama" If you ask "How are you today?", then be prepared to listen IF I want to "unload" on to you.
Please don't avoid me, but try not to make inappropriate questions or statements. Maybe you can ask "Chiak Pa Beh" (ie Have You eaten) and offer to buy me a nice lunch. LOL
Here are the song's lyrics... "I can think of younger days when living for my life Was everything a man could want to do. I could never see tomorrow, but I was never told about the sorrow.
And how can you mend a broken heart? How can you stop the rain from falling down? How can you stop the sun from shining? What makes the world go round?
How can you mend a this broken man? How can a loser ever win? Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again.
I can still feel the breeze that rustles through the trees And misty memories of days gone by We could never see tomorrow, no one said a word about the sorrow."