Too fast

Bleh, huge projects tend to swell up in tediousness towards the end when everything needs tidying up and making sure that all sounds right.

Don't know why but somehow I recall how I used to suck at the piano. People used to say that my playing was noisy, lacked form and control.

But I couldn't really give a shit about what those people thought. Those people couldn't play the piano that great anyway.

I studied how some of my favorite composers constructed their masterpieces. Their form, their variation. How a single melody can capture the loneliness of every individual, and how a harmony can bring the feeling of companionship to that lonely individual. How rhythm feels good when its predictable, and how it can excite or unnerve when it isn't.

I took pride in being able to emulate any composer's style.

But unlike a certain rowing sport,

One day I found my own style.


Years of sucking like hell turned into years of improvement and eventually into years of fruition.

I never thought that anyone would want my music.

But tomorrow I'm meeting with Asia's largest game developer. And next Friday, a cast of 700 will be dancing and singing to an hour and a half soundtrack of my composition.

Calls and emails have been coming in with new projects and proposals till the point that I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to have a holiday at all this year.

Everything feels so surreal.

Do you really need a break from doing something that you love and know that you want to do for the rest of your life?

As much as I love this, somehow I just want to have a period of time to spend just having time to train and play ps3 and not having to worry about having to miss training because I have to go for a meeting or supervise a rehearsal.

Things are moving too fast.