Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Lions tigers bears, oh my my

Supper tonight reminded me of how dangerous some places are because of stupid people.

Shouting in hokkien, then chairs and tables screeching, a parang brandished and waved around, someone retaliates, someone slashed.

If Si were there, he'd probably want to dash in and disable both parties just for the rush. I know because a part of me wanted to. But its a smaller part of what used to be the bigger part in the past.

Sparring with him the other night was quite demoralizing. Years ago I would be able to catch any attack or move along with it while launching a reprisal. Now my reversals are a pathetic percentage. Gyming makes you slow and stupid, I tell you. Its probably also the lack of practice. And fear of going too far prevents me from staying in the zone for too long. Its also possible that the idiot is purposely exploiting blind spots and throwing me off rhythm. God, that's why it sucks so much sometimes.

Anyway I can never bring myself to be as serious as him about it anymore. Which is sad, yet I feel proud for him because he's moving on to higher places. As I've seen him progress through this track, similarly he's seen my dreams for music slowly become a reality, and when you look back at the past like that everything seems so unreal.

Got an sms from an old friend all the way from Australia today while I was shopping in town:
"Does your family object when you chose to follow your dream and not go to uni? Now i am graduating in a months time. I chose to work overseas. All I get is resistance. Why can't they support my decision?

My reply:
"There are dreams that may seem good but are only worth a short while, and there are dreams that you know you will have no regrets living for the rest of your life. Opposition to those dreams test how well we've thought it through and whether we really want it."

I can't even remember the countless simulations and calculations I've had to do to make sure I was sure about my dream and it was feasible and practical. I guess the hardest part is applying logic to something so illogical. I hope all goes well for her.

Up to today there is still no 100%, only belief. But as long as its a good percentage, I'll bet on it, because if I never did, then I would never know.

1 comment:

applejuice2001 said...

Hey Reuben, a year has gone by quickly... Things have moved on quite a bit for us. I have changed my hp , so your last advice you have given me was gone.

In any case,I have followed my dreams ... We are getting married this coming July and will relocate.

Maybe that's where our dreams will begin.....

Still misses you greatly, my dear friend.

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