What about your life?

Doing something you love for work for the rest of your life and be successful is something that many people dream of, but few set out to achieve, and even fewer make it.

It takes years of careful planning, courage and belief in your dream. Even now as I climb up the steps to my ideal career I know that no future is certain, despite all that has been planned for thus far.

Meeting with Ruby Yang, Director of Act 3 International the other day to discuss the upcoming musical gives me hope, though. Here is a woman, who loves children, loves music, drama, acting, creating things and she has become so successful in her field - doing a job that she loves. You can tell when you meet such people. They seem lighter, less worried about typical things, not because they do not care, but because they know that there are more important things in life.

It was weird working with her professionally at first, because, she is Jason's mom for crying out.... I just felt inclined to call her "Aunt Ruby" the first time I met her, but after talking to her, she has such energy and youth that I can't imagine her to be around her age. Heck, I love my job, but I don't know if I'll enjoy it as much as her after doing it for so long. But it does seem possible, after all; art like music is so diverse, every changing and vast.

Each person's dream usually has meaning only to him/her. Its natural, seeing as to how different everyone is raised and how differently we see things and hold things important to us. I see the growing mound of invites to Zouk... I still have to pick up my updated card... and I can't find the interest in it. For some perhaps being at the "in" scene is important, or being seen at the "in" scene by friends. But I had always hated being part of a crowd. Because usually that crowd doesn't know any better, and it just escalates to nonsensical preposterously inconsequential convention.

Same for the offers to act on TV or film. To many that could be their dream. But I've got my own to chase for now. I still remember what Colleen said to me... "many people want to do what we do, but they can't, we should be grateful". She always has the best answers, probably why she won the Miss World Singapore pageant.

Sometimes you want to do something because you couldn't in the past, but I've learned that modeling really isn't my thing. You learn so much, about carrying yourself, about poise, charisma, but once that is over, its pretty mindless. I remember seeing how all the junior models walk in a super stiff manner, turn in a super stiff manner, it really is an art to some extent. Female models have the longest learning curve for their walk, the bounce and twist of each step of a good catwalk is something that you have to see up close to really appreciate. For guys its just lame shit like "oh, walk and look cool. Yeah, cool. Okay turn, now I'm pissed about something." wtf?!

I can't really get excited about showcasing someone else's work or clothes. I would rather people listen to my music.